Leave It
The other day I was out walking our dog, Emmie, who is a senior rescue with a terribly traumatic background. She has endured years of abuse in many forms and was scarred along the way. She became frightened of other dogs, since she had been used for overbreeding to make money. However, she is really a gentle, sweet, affectionate and loyal dog. She adores people but had developed some coping mechanisms to deal with her fear of other dogs by being reactive. We wanted to ensure that she was able to overcome some of her fears that she expressed through loud barking. Thankfully, someone gave her the gift of training. Part of the training package is that Emmie will be able to be at the very least neutral with any other dogs, but I had to be willing to work with their training method. Twice a week she goes to school for a couple of hours with the trainers and other dogs, including a doggie day care. The first few times she barked so much that she fell asleep on the drive home. However, we have been training on our daily walks and she has been able to walk past other dogs without engaging or barking when we use the command “leave it”. She always picks up the pace and is so excited when I tell her what a good girl she is.
As I was walking, God began speaking to me about how Emmie’s reaction to other dogs was based on her hurts and fears was not very different than how we react when we have not been healed of scarred and renewed our mind to see things differently than what we had known. Often when we walk around with open wounds, we are easily scared, but the fear manifests in our reactivity to others. We began to react out of offense rooted in fear. We don’t perceive situations the way God does, but resort back to what happened in our past and react accordingly. For example, I met a woman who witnessed her father cheat on her mother and then, abandon the family. Subsequently, she married a man who cheated on her and abandoned her and her children. She was scared of being hurt again and had never processed with God or others those deep wounds. Instead, she frequently accused other woman of being homewreckers, deceptive and promiscuous, when in fact she may have just seen someone in a grocery store. One day, she said “I don’t like women at all”. Without praying, I said, “I am sure that you cannot dislike half of the world’s population.” In essence, not every woman is like the two that affected your families. She carried that offense and it prevented her from having deep relationships with other women. Her walls blocked the potential of joyful experiences and she became isolated, sad and lonely.
When we allow the spirit of offense into our hearts and minds, we begin stepping out of love and creating disunity in the body of Christ. As the Bible says, “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city. And contentions are like the bars of a castle.” Proverbs 18:19 NKJV In other words, once the door to the spirit of offense is opened it is extremely challenging to bring forth healing and reconciliation. By engaging in arguments, we actually create walls and divisions. In hindsight, we often wish we could undo what was done or take back those harsh words spoken out of a place of offense, knowing we caused pain to ourselves and others. Of course, God is a God of Redemption and Reconciliation, but we often have the opportunity to “leave it”.
If asked we would say, we want to walk in love like Jesus. Then, the offenses come and we have a choice to make. Jesus prayed “that they all may be one, as You Father, are in Me, and I in You” John 17:21 NKJV. Jesus’ desire was for us to focus on the unity in the body of Christ, we all have Jesus, even if there are disagreements on certain things. We are called to walk in love and refuse to be offended by someone else’s behavior. Colossians 3:13 NLT states “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
God has forgiven all of us so much and we all on this journey together to the same heavenly home. If asked we could easily admit our weaknesses, faults and shortcomings. However, we need to remember that others have them too. When the offenses come, a betrayal, a trauma, and false accusation, the pain is real. God invites us to bring our scars, wounds, and fears to Him. Healing may be a process with the Holy Spirit, but offenses will hinder the process and not allow the Great Physician to do heart surgery we may desperately need. Like Emmie, we are still in training and learning how to surrender our past so we can live free today.
As I continued mediating on what God was showing me, I thought about the power of “leave it”. What if we refuse to be offended and instead, allow the Holy Spirit to help us to leave it and heal. We may have the opportunity to actually have healthy disagreements as the Holy Spirit leads that release someone else their deepest fears and wounds. We can actually speak powerful words of life into that person’s life and call them up to a higher level of who they really are. We can “leave it”, leave the offense and love like Jesus.